I decided against my better judgement to pick up the phone “Hello? Is this the Benedict detective agency?”
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a sign that read, “Insert a $5 bill in the slot for 20 minutes of not having a sharpened spike suddenly emerge from the center of your seat,” — and something under my chair was ticking.
At sunset the sun rolled and bounced around the horizon like a dropped basketball — or maybe my raft just wasn’t very stable.
When my aunt died, she left us a house with twelve weasels, two wolves, and flying squirrel in it — all the evidence anyone would need to know that she thought she lived in a Disney animated feature.
I counted fifteen carpet burns, four coffee cups, an overflowing ashtray and no sign of Sheldon; things felt like they were about to go bad.
Today was the day the shadows introduced themselves to me by name.
The good news is I found my missing tooth; the bad news is I found it embedded in the back of my calf.
My alarm went off at six forty-five in the AM and I awoke to yet another severed horse head to add to my growing collection.
Allowing myself to fall for Charlotte was like leaping from the Eiffel Tower and hoping to escape with no worse injury than windburn.
Time was, we’d be working harder, but times was.
